Navi came down with a terrible case of tonsillitis the other day when her tonsils were infecting from a bug she swallowed while screaming "HEY LOOK LISTEN" during a Link and Navi chase across Hyrule Field. Nintendo spent hours debating on whether she should be helped. In an interview, they stated "We find that she isn't an overly important character, but she should be saved as the gaming community depends on her for laughs." So with that statement, the company decided to save Navi and pay for the medical bills.

After hours of searching for her tonsils, the surgery began. Everything was going great until halfway through the procedure, one of the doctors exclaimed "oops" and a scalpel severed her vocal cords. At 7:31pm, on March 28, 2008, Navi, was silenced. Navi, now mute, went around attempting to yell "HEY LOOK LISTEN" to people to get them to notice what happened, but went unheard as she is no longer capable of talking. Furious with this, Navi attempted to hire a defense attorney and sue the hospital. Nobody would take her case. One defense attorney exclaimed that "We figured it wasn't worth our time, we have much better paying clients. What good are rupees?". Another claimed "Frankly, I think most people are happy shes mute. Who wants to see her win in court about a malpractice?" Navi is continuing to search the country for an attorney who will take her case, but they all seem to prefer her mute and refuse to help her.

Meanwhile, Zelda communities everywhere rejoiced in the fact they would never have to hear Navi talk again. "With the silencing of Navi, I can finally move on and beat Ocarina of Time" one person claimed, "she was too busy telling me what to do, that I couldn't do it!". Link was interviewed but due to some harsh words, we were forced to censor his speech. The word *navi* will replace anything inappropriate. "Oh my *navi*! Finally! That little *navi* finally *navi* went mute! SHE WAS DRIVING ME *navi* CRAZY!" Conventions everywhere are being held in honor of this momentous occasion and the president has even declared it a national holiday.

Nintendo seems unaffected by this loss and acted as if they weren't surprised. A few people suspect that the incident was more than just a malpractice, but nobody has the motive to look into it. It seems that Nintendo is keeping silent about the matter, and with nobody to look into it, we may never know what actually happened that night.

Reported by DinoThrasher